As a result, when I later found myself divorced and raising my only daughter, although I wasn’t rich I couldn’t help but lavish my child with gifts and what ever might bring her joy. I could never give her enough.

I had to learn, the hard way, the horrible mistakes I made. Starting as early as age 16, she was doing her best to escape the ‘old witch’. Years later, when she came back home with a baby and going through a divorce, I thought she had repented of the things she had done to me (and herself). How wrong I was. It took me years, the demise of my business and a few years of hard labor supporting her and my grandson, for me to come to the realization that it wasn’t me she wanted, it was my money.

When the day came, my body was worn out, now sick and no longer able to work, I was forced to retire. Now with so little money coming in, my daughter became bitter and all the old personality came shining through. Now, I was hearing what a fool I was and how useless I was and that I was a moocher.

It took another year, after she packed up and moved off to California, to what she thought was her knight in white armor, for me to finally see through to the truth.  Why was my daughter so angry with me? Because she thought she owned me and that I owed her something. Why did my daughter kick me to the curb? Because I was no longer the sole support for her and her son.

Where did I go wrong? You think it was in letting her walk on me, after she was grown. That was pretty stupid, true, but that’s not my error. My original error was in lavishing love and goods on my daughter and letting her get the idea that I owed it to her.

If ever I’ve given solid advice, I’m doing it now. Don’t do what I did. Your child is your child, not your keeper.

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Although this was also reason, many times, for bitterness against my own father, I didn’t stop respecting him for his attitude. Regardless of the circumstances, he stood on the side of my mother. In my opinion, it’s the only way to be when raising children.

Always remember that she came into your life, long before those children and she will be the one remaining, after the kids leave home.

Determine to agree with your wife, when it comes to the household or children, in all things regardless of the circumstance and she will trust you.

Disagreements belong behind closed doors and out of earshot of the children. What goes on between the two of you, is nobody else’s business. Ever!

If you step across that boundary just once, you’ve destroyed all faith in you as a husband and friend.

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Compulsive lies lead down a long road

I have lived this nightmare and I have no hard and fast rules for handling it. I do know this – the longer you let it continue, the harder it gets to confront and fix such a problem.

Raising a child that compulsively lies, truly needs to be tended to while they are still young or they will carry the habit into adulthood and find nothing but ruin, all through their lives. Who can employ a compulsive liar? Who can marry one?

If you don’t nip it in the bud, you will be unleashing ruin in the world, both for your child and anyone near them.

A compulsive liar will lie about absolutely everything, from their own health to how much money they have. A compulsive liar hopes to ‘get by’ in life, without ever having to face their true selves or having to be honest with others. It won’t work, regardless of the lies they tell themselves.

A compulsive liar, expects the world to believe their lies and what’s more, they begin to believe their own lies. At some point in their lives, they change their entire history and can no longer see the truth.

I could give you a whole slew of examples but to do so would be to talk behind the backs of some of my own loved ones. It’s a shame but most likely, millions deal with this every day.

The only possible solution is for parents to understand that this habit will not only ruin the lives of their children but can, and does, return to their own laps. When a child grows up, unable to face reality or responsibility, they also fail in their attempts of independence and who do they have to run to – you. If you then suffer from guilt over you past negligence you will fall prey to the ever draining lies of your own child.

Dr. Spock should have been hung by his thumbs for ever presenting to parents that it’s evil to spank their children or tell them ‘no’. His influence has ruined more than one generation. Today, we coddle our children instead of setting good examples for them and teaching them right from wrong. We have become afraid to be true parents, in our children’s lives.

As parents, one of the worst things we can do is let a child get away with a lie without consequences. Those children grow up thinking they can manipulate their world and have others just go along with them, as their parents did.

I’m old school, that’s true but ‘old school’ did not turn out lazy, cheating liars. True, some children were simply unteachable but for those who were, they turned out to be responsible adults, standing on two steady legs.

A whining boy grows up to be a whining man. A petty girl grows up to be a petty woman. Don’t think they will simply adapt to adult life and change their ways. It doesn’t happen.

Imagine yourself, in the future, standing before an equal to yourself, knowing them through and through, and still listening to their lies. It’s too late then, to confront them.

When others say of your child, “they should be in the movies”, think twice before you take that as a compliment. They may be trying to tell you that your child is a great actor and has you fooled.

You think your own child couldn’t possibly pull the wool over your eyes? Think again. It happens all the time.

When that child says, “nothing” in that whiny voice, don’t just say ok and go on with what you’re doing. Demand a straight answer. When your child will not, flatly refuses, to confess to something and you know darn well he’s guilty, don’t question yourself – question him!

When a child tells you to stay out of their private room, put your foot down. He doesn’t own a private room. He’s paying for nothing! He will have privacy when he grows up and starts supporting himself and not until then. Don’t be pushed around in your own home.

It is still true that child did not come into this world on his own.When he gets big enough to throw ‘I didn’t ask to be born’ in your face, be sure you come back with ‘who did?’ Which of us asked to be born? That’s about the filthiest thing that can come out of the mouth of your child and it needs to be shoved right back where it came from. Why should you feel guilty for bringing him into this world? That’s the height of disrespect and you deserve his respect.

If you have a child with the audacity to tell you to ’shut up’, that’s a child that needs to strictest punishment you can administer.

Taking away all those electronics is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of. Why does that child have all those expensive gadgets, anyway. All they’ve done for him is make him fat and lazy. Giving a child his every whim, is a cop out. In my opinion, this is nothing more than parents who don’t want children and are too bothered to be a part of their lives.

Am I harsh? Maybe so but from experience and knowledge of this true world. Look around you. Especially if you live in the U.S. What do you see? Children with drugs and guns? Little girls whoring themselves before they even know what life is all about? Children with gobs of makeup and short skirts?

Truly! Is this what you envisioned in the labor room? You can blame it on the government, you can blame it on society but in your home, you are the lord and master.

For those who are planning to marry, I have this warning. Always remember that one lie is just a symptom of what’s to come. If you marry someone, you’ve already caught in one little lie, you are asking for a future of absolute misery. If someone that close to you can lie to you about anything, they can lie about everything. Believe me, I’ve been there.

At this point, I’ve either lost you as a reader or gained a fan. I have to speak honestly, that’s the way I was raised.

“21 Days to a Happy Child” guide-turn misbehavior into great behavior Click Here!

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When you notice a lot of fussy fights, grumbling and complaining going on around the house, it’s time to find out what the problems are and how to fix it.

For this to work, any member of the family can request a Round Table. Here are the rules.

Each time you call a round table, it should be held in the same room, every time. Each member of the family finds a comfortable seat. Then you decide who goes first. Draw cards, if you can’t settle on which one of you gets to talk first.

Each member get their turn before the Round Table is finished. Each member in turn, has the floor. While this member is airing their gripes, nobody is to interrupt. Just listen until that member is finished with what they have to say.

When he or she is finished, they sit down. Then each member, one after another, following around the room in a circle, gives their opinion. When voicing your opinion, you simply make suggestions about what you think the solution is. You don’t argue with the speaker. This is not the time to bring up your own complaints. The entire family will stay on the subject brought up by the speaker, and only that subject, until a solution is found.

Then following around the room in a circle, each member gets a turn to air their complaints. Again, all members will stick only to the subject brought up by the speaker.

During this process, the members are held to a strict rule of ‘no interrupting’. They will get their turn.

Even if the complaint is ‘I’m sick and tired of little sister dumping her dirty clothes on my bedroom floor’ or ‘I’ve had it with the kids running through the kitchen, while I’m trying to prepare dinner’. Regardless of the complaint, it is to be treated with respect and a solution found among the members.

Establish new rules, to confront these complaints. Write them down and post them on the refrigerator, to make sure everyone remembers the new rules.

Having ones complaints listened to and resolved, even if it’s only through a new household rule, makes each family member feel important and solves a lot of bickering.

As silly as all this sounds, it works. It’s a way of handling family problems in a business like manner, causing each member to view the family in a more organized way.

Give it a try, the next time you hear that unhappy noise down the hall. You just might discover a new weapon to use against family strife.

The magic of making up Click Here!

The Look Good Feel Good Pregnancy package Click Here!

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It’s up to the parents to build a child’s self esteem. The world sure won’t do it for you.

It’s more than just ‘that’s great, hon’. It takes a lot of “you’re the smartest kid, I know and I’m proud of you”. “You can do anything you set your mind to.”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I love you so much.” “You mean so much to me.” “I’m the proudest mamma, a kid could have.”

“Do you know, you’re special to me?” “Sure, you can do it. I have no doubt.” “I know you have it in you. You’ll get it done, someday.”

Kids need to hear these things, every day. The more you uplift them and encourage them, the more they excel.

Make a child feel they are stupid or not important and you’ll watch your little ones turn into stutterers, tantrum throwers and just plain all around obnoxious. Either they will feel that what they have to say, is not important to you or they may just decide that the only way to get attention from you, is by screaming.

Pay attention to your children. Make them feel that what they have to say, is important. That way, when they get older and face more serious things in life, they will feel more open to talking with you about it.

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