Communication

I recently went through a stressful time, thinking my grown daughter had suddenly turned on me. I couldn’t understand how she could suddenly forget all I’ve done for her.

From my point of view, she was taking an attitude of ‘thanks for all your help now drop dead’. I don’t have to tell you, that hurt. I lost many nights of sleep, tossing and turning with feelings of anger.

This went on for many days and I plunged into depression, trying to find reason for living. I was hurt deeply.

It was just yesterday, as we sat in a restaurant, my daughter blurted out, “I shouldn’t have said that, the other day. My feelings were hurt”.

It seems she had thought that for some reason, I had turned against her. Definitely a problem with communication.

This happens all the time, within families, within marriage. If you simply read into something, what you think it means, you’re in for trouble.

Isn’t it better to just open your mouth and ask? “Did you mean by that, what I think you meant?” When it comes to loved ones, you can’t harbor suspicions. It hurts everybody.

If you love them and trust that they love you, be open and honest and keep the air clear. If you feel the other is thinking harmful things or doing something against you, you will begin to see confirmation in everything they do. That just compounds the problem.

If your loved one is truly doing something against you or thinking horrible things, it’s best to just get it over with and find out the truth. Since when does it do any good to wait while feelings pile one upon the other, building a wall between you?

If truly it’s a disaster coming at you, what difference if it comes today or tomorrow? Get it over with. Most times, it means peace in the house instead of snippy remarks, slamming of doors and driving a bigger wedge between.

Most times, you will find that you took them wrong. It’s times like these, you will be grateful you just aired it all and got down to the truth.