Family Conflict? Use Your Camera By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. Here’s a use for your camera that I bet you never thought of: It can help you keep your cool. In the next couple of weeks millions of families will be getting together to celebrate the holidays. But let’s face it - most family gatherings won’t look like Norman Rockwell paintings. As one of my friends said to me: “My family resembles a painting all right, but it’s a Picasso painting, with everything fragmented and out of place.” You might not agree with my friend’s comment on Picasso’s art, but you can probably relate to her experience, even if your family is not quite as chaotic as hers. Every family has disagreements and conflict – some more than others. And during the holidays these problems can be magnified. Want to stay calm at family gatherings? Get out your camera and take pictures. Here’s why: Viewing people through a camera lens forces you to be more objective, less emotional. The camera puts distance between you and the situation. In framing your shot, you focus on how you want the picture to turn out, rather than on how you feel. You are watching, but not participating. Taking pictures may also reduce the tension of the situation. Most people – including trouble makers at a family gathering – are distracted by the flash of a camera. The distraction may be just enough to disrupt a hostile interaction. A videocamera might be even more effective. I found this out quite accidentally one day when my kids were small. During one of their arguments I got out the videocamera to tape them. Immediately they started talking to the camera and got distracted from their bickering with each other. Whether you use a video- or a still camera, make sure you take it to the next family get-together. You never know when it might come in handy. For example: • Uncle Fred just made a sarcastic comment. Pretend you didn’t hear it, and point your camera at him and ask him to smile • Nephews fighting? Have them show their muscles to the camera. • Mom just asked you a difficult question. Excuse yourself to take some pictures. Of course, a camera can’t prevent a fight that people are determined to see to the end. And it can’t make archenemies into friends. But for the limited time that you are at your family get-together, assign yourself the role of chief photographer, and you’ll be better able to stay out of the conflicts. And the bonus – you capture memories of your family. Believe it or not, even difficult families are better than no family at all. Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. is a psychologist and life coach in Camp Hill, PA, with over 30 years' experience, and author of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior." Still haven't bought the perfect gift for that special someone? Give the gift of one-on-one telephone coaching - much more useful than a cashmere sweater. See my website for special holiday pricing: http://drwallin.com/giftcertificates.html Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pauline_Wallin,_Ph.D. Return to Index Return to Main Index

Miscellaneous Articles Just Moved and Miserable Making Money off Coupons About Fire Blankets Ten Tips to Avoiding Crime Guide to Pool Table Assembly Get Out From Under All that Clutter Pros and Cons of Condo's How To Get Rid of Roaches Gardening rss feeds Free Plants-Flowers-Seeds Pruning Trees Re-Pot Houseplants What Is Compost? Home Improvement rss feeds Increase Home Value Home Improvement Grants Closet Doors Things to Know about Concrete Stain Good To Know Plumbing Tips Chosing Fireplaces Family rss feeds Family Conflict? Use a Camera Big Move-Small Town Pillars of Nutrition Kitchen rss feeds Savings in the Kitchen Drink Coffee for A Healthier You Coffee Machines:The Perfect Cup Financial Starting a Business Setting Your Financial Priorities How Credit Card Interest is Determined Year-end Health Savings Account Tax Strategies Learn About Equity Index Annuities Career Information about Photography